Personal Style Redux

Not to harp on the subject of mid-life style and figuring out what works on you in this stage of life, while also bringing you joy, I have just a few more things to say that reflect the style and name change of the blog. Might as well have the blog match the style of clothes and the things you like, yes?

I took some time to blatantly evaluate the clothes in my closet. Let me start by telling you that trying on all your clothes in various outfits, or trying to make new ones, is going to end up hurting your own feelings in some way. And not just from overwhelm. This is not an exercise for the faint of heart.  But let’s skip past for now.

At the end of it, the silhouettes that I feel the most confident in, and that incidentally look good on me, by and large, are the things I’ve made from vintage mid-century patterns: skimmers, sheaths, and fit and flare dresses. They are not overly baggy, not overly cinched unless I put a tight belt on it. The cut of a skimmer and the shaping thereof is far more complementary when not belted than, say, a modern tent-style dress. There’s a lot to be said for those strategically placed darts. You have to take the time to try your clothing on, in various outfits if you have mostly separates, and look at yourself with an honest, slightly critical eye. Move around in it, sit, walk, stand, do a yoga pose. Is this something you can move through life in, feel confident in, and maintain composure throught the day? If yes, then wear it! If there’s something you can’t decide on, ask a trusted someone around you who will be honest and whose opinion you value to pare down the things that don’t make you sparkle. You deserve to sparkle and feel elevated in your clothing, darling. Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise. You have to find the things that flatter your body style, color type, and way of living.

The few cottagecore pieces I had just felt overly twee, maybe it’s my age, but super fluffy clothes just hang like bags. Which is kinda sad, as there are more than a few modern-style patterns (think updated 1970s and octogenarian art teacher) that are the biggest offenders in making me feel like a puffball. It’s no fault of the patterns, it’s my body type: baggy clothes hang down from your furthest point, and when you’re a busty gal, that furthest point makes it look like the rest of your body is that far out as well. I admire the folks who can wear these clothes, a bit envious, honestly.

Comes a time when you just have to admit what is unequivocally you and stop getting distracted by things that are not, i.e. a trend of the day. Bit of a failure point for me, but here we are. As I audit my sewing pattern collection with an eye toward culling, I will start putting them up for sale. Not sure if I will post them here, Instagram, or eBay, but I will definitely announce where they are. No sense in hoarding when someone else might be chuffed to the gills to find a pattern. Anyone know of a site that specifically caters to pattern collectors? The couple that I used to haunt seem to have disappeared.

*A word about “flattering”: I am aware that the trend is to obliterate the word “flattering” from style speak, but honestly, I don’t get it. Please be aware that body positive does not mean tearing someone else down for using the word “flattering” or the idea of an article of clothing is flattering to your specific body, just because it does not fit your specific ethos. I agree that the general definition of the word should be updated to refelct the lens of the wearer rather than the lens of the observer, for sure. Perhaps it should include the way something makes the wearer feel as well as the way they see themselves in the mirror. If you’re wearing something that doesn’t flatter your specific body style, by and large, you’re not going to maintain confidence over the course of a day (a recently lived experience by yours truly). If you can wear a floaty maxi dress and feel sassy and confident, then you should have a week’s worth lined up in your closet if you so choose! I cannot, much to my chagrin. As much as I like the current trends in maxi dresses and cottagecore style, and I think those who wear them ooze joyful confidence. Daresay, I’m just a little bit jealous that I cannot maintain that level of confidence or feel that it looks good on me. But I also recognize the body difference: tend to be a little less busty, and maybe a little bit taller. I do not feel that the style flatters my body. And that, my friends, is the point of personal style: wearing what feels good on your body, that makes your body style/shape look good, and that allows you to ooze confidence. You are wearing the clothing, it is not about trends/styles wearing you.